Dear You, Pt. 17

dear you

I know I never got the chance to say thank you. Before I knew it, you were gone like a wisp of smoke on a windy day. And just like that, I was swept up into a tidal wave of emotions, consumed by lust and greed and loneliness. Despite all of that and the journey that I took, I kept arriving at the same conclusion: there would be no other person to take your place. You became an irreplaceable memory, engraved into the tapestry of mind that I didn’t have the heart to throw away or set on fire. I continued to bump into this and that, continued to lose this and that, and realized that I wasn’t supposed to be living like an empty waiting for it’s owner to come home. I wasn’t meant to live like that. But my passions became stained with complacency and without realizing it, I had stopped moving forward. I remained in the same place for years, wondering why nothing had changed. It was a weird feeling, to see everyone leave me behind and not look back. But I slowly began to see the glances, the bewildered stares wondering why I hadn’t come with them. Their eyes prodded me into action, is what I would have liked to say. But they didn’t. Their eyes scared me into hiding, until there was nothing but darkness around me. At first, I thought that the darkness suited me and that I should remain in darkness for a long, long time. But then I started to see others, I started to realize that I was not alone. And almost as if by instinct, I gathered up the courage to speak with these other people and slowly, we made our back into the light. It was refreshing to feel the sun’s rays again and the first person that came to mind was you. I know it sounds strange, but I want to thank you. Thank you for guiding me into the abyss. Thank you for helping me to find light in the darkness. Thank you for opening my eyes to different perspectives and ideas.

Thank you for hurting me,
Me

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