Dear You, Pt. 16

dear you

I’m sorry that I constantly tried to bottle up all of this darkness inside of me and didn’t allow you to help when you could. I’m sorry that I was unable to string sentences of words together, in order to fully convey the emotions and ideas that resided in my heart. But I am thankful that you still took the time to listen. That you still took the time to be with me, in my silence, as I tried to figure out everything about myself and about this world. It was difficult, and when I say difficult, I mean it. It was really difficult to meet other people and to talk to them. But you continuously encouraged me to do so. You continued to prod and poke at me, reminding me that companionship is needed and that it’s never good to be alone for too long. And you were right. From past experiences, from how I once was, it was never good to be alone. And I’m thankful that you helped me to realize that before it became too late. I’m thankful that I no longer feel alone or as alone and empty. At least not like before. I do admit, however, that I still struggle and fall and contemplate about running away. But as I remember your words, as I remember you, I will continue to strive to be better. I will continue to live and be an active participant in this cold world. And I promise to not focus on making you proud, but I will make sure that I am happy. And I think, if we were to meet again, that I will be able to say that I am truly happy. So I hope and I pray that we meet once again.

Thank you,