Dear You, Pt. 13

You remained in the silence that filled the room. Even the dust that fell from the ceiling knew of you and could recall your name. Your memories became engraved on the streets with every step that you took and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. In a few short months, you became an inspiration to many and a ball of sunshine that could never be snuffed out. And for that, I thank you. I thank you for the immense amount of happiness that you brought into my life, from the three a.m. texts to even the five p.m. angry outbursts. I didn’t realize it then, but you left little parts of your soul on the pavement that I would gladly pick up and call my own. Of course I would offer them back to you but you’d always decline and say it was mine to keep. I would take note when your steps had no bounce and when your shoulders drooped lower than usual. But you always replied that you were okay or fine or something along those lines. And I believed you. I blindly believed you because in a short amount of time, that was what I was trained to do. My instinct told me to trust you and to believe every word that you had said or ever will say. And that was exactly what I did. But now you are gone and I can never see you again. As I sit here on the other side, I wonder what I could have done better. I wonder if I could have said something to stop you from leaving. Even though I realized that every ball of light can fall into the darkness, it didn’t make sense for you. And I wish I  could pick out a reason why, because maybe then it will be easier. Maybe then I will be able to say ‘Ah, so you felt this way, too.’ I promise I will not curl up in a corner and cry for too long, but please understand that it is something that must be done.

I miss you and I love you,
Me