Dear You, Pt. 11

dear you

You were (and possibly still are) my biggest and oldest “what if”. Although the past may be buried by the sands of time, sometimes I look upon our memories for more than a second. But I am always cautious to tread around the boundaries of an arm’s reach. For if I get too close, I’m deadly afraid that I will be tempted to pick them up again and blindly hope for the impossible. That all those “what if” statements turned into fact instead of a possibility, a scene of fiction that only existed in my mind. However, we unfortunately lost contact ages ago. It was neither a falling out nor an awkward atmosphere that drove us apart. Rather, what had happened was a natural phenomenon that occurs in many relationships: time. As time passed, we walked on separate paths and grew distant. As time passed, our interests changed and so did our view of romance. As time passed, I eventually learned that my heart was not meant for you. And with that revelation, I was able to heal. I was able to move on and away from the spot I was rooted to, while I foolishly waited for your return. But sometimes I revisit those memories. Sometimes I liked to think ,”What if you had been brave enough to say yes?” Sometimes I wondered, “What if I fell in love too fast and at too young of an age?” Sometimes I asked no one in particular, “What if we had gotten together?” All of these thoughts of “what if”, I had forced myself to bury somewhere in the corner of my soul. And at first, it was heartbreaking, for I truly believed that we were meant to end up together. But now, I am older and more mature. I’m sure that you are, as well. So even if we cross paths once again, may we greet each other with our lips closed and eyes facing forward, letting the silence do it’s work. But there’s a thought that crosses my mind.

What if I fall for you again,
Me

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