Dear You, Pt. 6

dear you

You were there for a lot of “firsts”. The first time I got into trouble at school, the first time I became attracted to the opposite sex, the first time I had a falling out with a friend. The list is endless and it would probably take me at least half a day to get to them all. And rightly so, you were also there for much of my “lasts”. The last day as a senior in high school, the last afternoon at my childhood home, the last day at Disneyland, last night. Unknowingly, or perhaps according to fate, you have been there throughout my life, walking with me side by side. Our hands would occasionally touch and a jolt of electricity would shoot up my arm. It would always be a friendly, loving jolt, like the soft caress of a Sunday morning politely asking me to wake up. Needless to say, I always enjoyed your presence. There were moments I craved it, selfishly wishing that I could become your only priority. But there were also moments on the other side of the spectrum. There were moments that I loathed your entire being; the way you talked, the way you walked, the way you smiled, everything irked me to no end and made me wish that you would leave like a cool, gentle breeze midday in July. However, I knew that if you left, I would have regretted all the things that we couldn’t have done. It’s funny. “I would have regretted…”. Looking back at that thought now, it seems so silly. We come into this life alone and we eventually leave on our own. And now seems like the perfect time for me to go out on my own. I will never forget all the moments that we shared together. Those moments are too special and too precious to ever erase. But now I have realized that I will not be able to become the best version of myself with you by my side. It seems a little harsh, doesn’t it? But it’s the truth. So I come with my first and last request: let me go. Gather up the courage of a lion, because I know your heart is as weak as a mouse, and allow me to go on this journey. I promise that one day, I will come back and you can lock me in a room and throw away the key, but as of this moment, I must jump into the abyss and seek out the parts of my soul that have been waiting to be found all this time.

So farewell, we will meet again,
Me

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